2008 Woodie Awards
Wanted: New and Improved YU Student
Zev Eleff
Issue date: 10/15/07 Section: Editorials
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Moved to the lobby floor of Furst Hall with refurbished furniture and an enhanced game plan for recruitment, the Office of Admissions is rearing to improve the Wilf Campus' student body. To ensure success, Admissions is looking for all the help it can get and has made an effort to reach out to deans and faculty, breaking a longstanding trend at YU. Ironically, they may consider enlisting you, the current, outdated model, for assistance.
Here are the basic criteria they're looking for.
Over his bedpost should be hanging that pompous, diploma- looking document that reads: "Certificate of Acceptance to Harvard College." Right above that should hang the recent letter sent to his parents' home from the Office of Student Finances stating: "Tuition paid in full."
Apparently, the prospective student should be primed for a writing-intensive liberal arts education but with a strong enough background in mathematics so he too can take part in a million dollar physics laboratory. He can take some Syms courses once Dean Ginzberg institutes high-level mathematics, so our target student shouldn't plan on taking a finance course for a few more years.
When davening in the Main Beit Midrash, he shouldn't make it obvious if he's praying toward the front or at an angel. At any rate, he should do as prescribed by one reading of Rashi and direct his heart toward the epicenter of the Jewish people: the CJF storefront.
They're looking for someone with the charisma of President Joel and clever wit and erudition of Rabbi Lamm. He has to aspire to have the creativity of Rabbi Rosensweig and have knowledge of Shas and Poskim like Rabbi Schachter. He needs to have a spiritual side like Rabbis Twersky and Reichman and be sensible like Rabbi Willig.
They're really only interested in students set to sit in one of the top MYP shiurim and keep to a two-hour block night seder, minimum. It goes without saying that he shouldn't even know how to spell IBC.
Here are the basic criteria they're looking for.
Over his bedpost should be hanging that pompous, diploma- looking document that reads: "Certificate of Acceptance to Harvard College." Right above that should hang the recent letter sent to his parents' home from the Office of Student Finances stating: "Tuition paid in full."
Apparently, the prospective student should be primed for a writing-intensive liberal arts education but with a strong enough background in mathematics so he too can take part in a million dollar physics laboratory. He can take some Syms courses once Dean Ginzberg institutes high-level mathematics, so our target student shouldn't plan on taking a finance course for a few more years.
When davening in the Main Beit Midrash, he shouldn't make it obvious if he's praying toward the front or at an angel. At any rate, he should do as prescribed by one reading of Rashi and direct his heart toward the epicenter of the Jewish people: the CJF storefront.
They're looking for someone with the charisma of President Joel and clever wit and erudition of Rabbi Lamm. He has to aspire to have the creativity of Rabbi Rosensweig and have knowledge of Shas and Poskim like Rabbi Schachter. He needs to have a spiritual side like Rabbis Twersky and Reichman and be sensible like Rabbi Willig.
They're really only interested in students set to sit in one of the top MYP shiurim and keep to a two-hour block night seder, minimum. It goes without saying that he shouldn't even know how to spell IBC.