2008 Woodie Awards
Religious Development and Personal Growth
Rabbi Yosef Blau
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My student years were a time of profound religious development and personal growth. As I prepared to give an account of these changes, I realized that my perspective on a deepened observance of Judaism may not correspond to what is currently popular in yeshiva circles. Over the years, I have learned that our tradition incorporates a variety of expressions of religiosity. I will focus on the model that has resonated for me.
In high school, we associated growth in learning with accumulating knowledge and exposure to more commentators. At Yeshiva, I learned to think about a difficulty instead of looking for an answer. Torah study became a cognitive act with religious significance. Hasmadah is more than spending many hours in the Beis Midrash; it requires concentrating intensely on trying to understand the sources and to resolve apparent contradictions. We absorbed this lesson in shiur when we observed the Rav zt”l not being satisfied with an explanation until it was precisely formulated and conceptually clear. We realized that he did not sleep well until both the Rambam and the Raavad, or the Ramban and Baal Hamaor’s positions had been explained. Each opinion reflected a different perspective on the fundamental question that was below the surface of the Talmudic discussion.
Many of the conceptual formulations that I learned transformed my observance. The distinction between kiyum she’b’lev (an internal state of mind) and the maaseh ha’mitzvah (the technical performance) gave new depths to experiencing a holiday or attempting to do t’shuvah. Observing Shabbos is enhanced when one has an understanding of what the criteria are for defining an activity as “work” and the nature of a sh’vut d’rabbanan. Because of this conceptual approach, decades later I continue to gain insight into the prayers and the unique sanctity (k’dushat ha’yom) of each holiday.
Even before entering college, I had a philosophical bent. Yeshiva high school ended at 5:45 on weeknights, and I would be in the library by seven o’clock for two hours of reading. Maintaining religious commitment would have been difficult if I had not been exposed to serious Jewish thought. It is not necessary to have an answer for every apparent conflict between science and religion, but it is critical that the study of Judaism be as intellectually challenging as physics and mathematics.
The sense that there is infinite depth to Torah and that mastering its texts takes more than a lifetime is a powerful stimulant. It is enhanced by the realization that the additional knowledge will enrich all aspects of one’s religious life. When the Rav explained customs, they took on new meanings. One who is engaged in analyzing a halakhah will be less likely to observe it in a mechanical way.
For those of us who did not compartmentalize, our secular education was part of our growth. Literature sensitized us to the human condition. The sciences expanded our awareness of the wonders of God’s creation. Our intellectual horizons were widened. We followed the Rambam in both the Mishneh Torah and the Sefer Hamitzvot, connecting our love of Hashem with knowledge of His Torah and His creation.
As a result of this broad concept of Torah, an ethical and moral sensitivity was communicated. Injustice to others became our concern. It is difficult to pin down where the ethical dimension of Judaism was stressed. Most likely it inhered in the ethos of the time. Judaism and humanism were not seen as conflicting. American society was more innocent, almost naïve. Our European roshei yeshiva, acutely aware of the contrast between how Jews suffered in Europe and how we were treated in
Life at Yeshiva was more than an intellectual pursuit. Bonding with our fellow students enabled us to appreciate the value of friendship and the importance of community. Aware of the small percentage of the broader Jewish community that shared our experiences, we understood that we had a responsibility to provide leadership and a connection to Torah knowledge to those who were uneducated.
More important than the knowledge that we gained and even the camaraderie we shared was the development of an adult religious personality. It included taking responsibility for our decisions. As we began to look for a spouse, pick a career and find a job, our rebbei’im trusted us to make intelligent choices. Once our teachers gave us the tools, we had to decide how to use them. Accepting responsibilities can be daunting. When the Rav called on his students and asked what we thought, it was frightening, but it also told us that we have the ability to say something worthwhile.
The message communicated was that we would be the next generation of Jewish leaders. We were expected to be both loyal and independent. Creativity in Torah had not ended. Life was going to present many challenges, and we did not have all the answers. None of us thought we would be Torah scholars on the level of our roshei yeshiva. We were in awe of the Rav and had no illusions about becoming Torah giants by his standards.
It sounds paradoxical, but we were simultaneously aware of the gap and our inadequacy while feeling reassured that we could handle the mantle of leadership. The years in Yeshiva were a unique opportunity for growth in Torah and for exposure to greatness. Graduating or earning s’mikhah was not the end of the process. When functioning as adults there would be different kinds of opportunity for further growth. For those willing to accept the burdens, the years at Yeshiva had been the preparation for accepting religious leadership
Rabbi Blau is the Mashgiach Ruchani of RIETS