Student Pulse

Shidduchim

This issue’s first Student Pulse asked students about their views on dating.

1. Do you feel comfortable attending co-ed events?
Yes – 53.8%
No – 12.3%
It depends – 32.8%
I don’t know – 1.0%

2. In what contexts do you feel comfortable attending co-ed events?
Any context is fine – 46.1%
On-campus only – 7.3%
On-campus and off-campus – 20.4%
When the event supports a good cause – 34.0%
When there is little interaction with members of the opposite gender -  22.5%
When the event entails a shiur or lecture from a Rosh Yeshivah or other noted figure – 29.3%
When the event does not interfere with night seder – 19.9%
I don’t attend co-ed events at all – 5.8%

3. How many co-ed events have you attended within the past three-months?
0 – 14.4%
1-5 – 60.8%
5-10 – 14.9%
10+ - 9.8%

4. Do you think it is important or appropriate for YU to sponsor co-ed events to encourage social interaction?
Yes, it is important and appropriate – 65.4%
No, it is unimportant – let people meet on their own – 5.8%
It is inappropriate for YU to do so – 3.1%
It depends: YU should only do so in certain contexts, like when there is a clear intent on helping singles meet – 18.8%
I don’t know – 6.8%

5. Did your year(s) in Israel affect how you view dating and interaction with the opposite gender?
Yes – 42.6%
No – 36.9%
I don’t know – 8.7%
I did not study in Israel – 11.8%

6. If it/they did affect your views, in what way(s) did it/they do so?
I began to interact more with members of the opposite gender than I previously had – 10.8%
I started being shomer negiah – 23.7%
I broke up with my girlfriend/boyfriend during my year(s) of study – 5.8%
I no longer attend co-ed events – 2.9%
I only rarely attend co-ed events, as when for a good cause – 10.8%
I no longer talk to members of the opposite gender, except when necessary – 12.9%
I now feel that I must start dating and marry young – 7.2%
I no longer date for fun; rather, I date strictly for marriage purposes – 23.7%
It/they did not affect my views – 38.1%
I did not study in Israel – 10.1%

7. How do you find/do you plan on finding a date?
Co-ed YU events – 44.6%
NCSY and other co-ed groups – 30.1%
Being set up by friends and family – 84.3%
Professional shadchanim or shadchan organizations like YUConnects – 28.9%
Having your parents review “resumes” of potential dates and creating “lists” of acceptable candidates – 9.6%

8. At what age did you start/do you plan on starting to date?
Before age 18 – 10.0%
18 – 6.8%
19 – 10.5%
20 – 25.3%
21 – 23.2%
22 – 12.6%
After age 22 – 11.6%

9. Do you/did you feel pressure from friends and family to start dating sooner than you would like to?
Yes – 28.9%
No – 66.0%
I don’t know – 5.2%

10. How many dates have you been on within the past three months?
0 – 50.8%
1-4 – 32.3%
5-8 – 7.4%
9-12 – 3.7%
12+ – 5.8%

11. What are the two main characteristics you are looking for while on a date?
Intelligence – 63.1%
Religiosity/Observance – 54.5%
Jewish learning – 11.8%
Modesty – 23.5%
Wealth – 3.7%
Physical appearance – 24.1%
Sense of humor – 44.4%
Kindness/Chesed – 48.7%

12. In your opinion, is there now a “shidduch crisis” in the Orthodox community?
Yes – 54.6%
No – 15.5%
I don’t know – 29.9%

What They’re Saying…
“Some people feel pressured into attending co-ed events because friends are doing it, or because they feel that they will be uncomfortable on dates and ruin potential matches if they're not sufficiently comfortable interacting with the opposite sex. In truth, however, a) peer pressure is obviously not a good way to judge the worth of an activity, and b) there's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable around the opposite gender, and in fact it may help one to maintain a healthy level of Tzniut and avoid halachic problems, and a potential spouse who is off-put by someone who is not smooth and comfortable enough is probably not a good match anyway.”

“The shidduch crisis results from people wanting to get married young and quickly and having an ideal standard of a match that doesn't exist.”

“What I see from my friends-- there aren't enough ways to meet ‘naturally’ without being set up. I think people should just be able to meet and go out that way, and it should not have to be arranged through friends or a shadchan.”

“People are getting married. Sure there are some outliers who aren't married or who marry older than most but isn't that normal? That's not a crisis!”

“There is no shidduch crisis - Hashem makes all shidduchim and knows who is best for us.”

“I think that shidduchim - especially through shadchanim - is a completely messed up system. Unfortunately for now, it's the only one that works, even though it's ridiculously flawed. There has to be some other way. I met my chassan randomly and we didn't have a shadchan, and that's how it worked for me, but I can also see that it wouldn't work that way for everybody

“None of my frineds can find dates. I only find [dates] because I'm on YUConnects, but it's a faulted system because most of the shadchanim don’t know me (and many of my friends don't know any shadchanim on the site).  I've been set up with people I know that were completely and utterly un-shayach matches. We should be meeting in natural ways! And there needs to be less stress on finding the ‘perfect match’ before even going on a date (or second date).”

Noteworthy Stats
31.3% of men said they started dating or planned to start dating before they turned 21, while 83.2% of women said the same thing.  Only 11.7% of women started dating or planned to start dating at age 21, and 5.2% answered that they would start after age 21.

Though 56 respondents said they felt pressure from friends and family to start dating sooner than they would want to, only 10.8% of them started dating or planned to start dating before age 20.

3 women said that they were only comfortable attending co-ed events when they do not interfere with night seder.

30.9% of men became “shomer negiah” after their year in Israel, while 14.0% of women did.

45.7% of men said they thought there is a “shidduch crisis,” while 68.8% of women thought so.

62.5% of those who planned to have parents review “resumes” of potential dates still thought that YU should sponsor co-ed events to encourage social interaction if there is a clear intent on helping singles meet.

44.7% of MYP students are comfortable with attending co-ed events, though 42.2% will only attend if the event does not interfere with night seder.  51.2% of MYP students think that YU should sponsor such co-ed events.  61.7% of the respondents who are in MYP have not dated in the last three months.

There were 195 respondents to the survey – 117 men and 78 women.  70 of the respondents left detailed comments – thanks!


Approval Ratings

This issue’s second Student Pulse (for first, see page 3) asked students what they thought of overall trends and developments within YU over the past few years.


1. Do you approve or disapprove of the job President Joel has done over the past six years?
Strongly Approve – 35.6%
Somewhat Approve – 51.9%
Somewhat Disapprove – 8.9%
Strongly Disapprove – 3.7%


2. Are you satisfied with the work done by President Joel and Dr. Hillel Davis to improve student life on campus?
Strongly Approve – 22.4%
Somewhat Approve – 53.7%
Somewhat Disapprove – 17.9%
Strongly Disapprove – 6.0%


3. Do you approve or disapprove of the way President Joel handled the financial situation over the past year?
Strongly Approve – 30.9%
Somewhat Approve – 46.0%
Somewhat Disapprove – 16.5%
Strongly Disapprove – 6.5%


4. Do you approve or disapprove of the job Dean Srolovitz has done in YC over the past three years (YC students only)?
Strongly Approve – 34.0%
Somewhat Approve – 43.3%
Somewhat Approve – 16.5%
Strongly Disapprove – 6.2%


5. Are you pleased with the new professors hired under Dean Srolovitz’s tenure?
Strongly Approve – 28.7%
Somewhat Approve – 48.9%
Somewhat Disapprove – 14.9%
Strongly Disapprove – 7.4%


6. Do you want to see YU take strong action against grade inflation?
Yes – 30.9%
No – 39.6%
Not sure – 29.5%


7. Have you found that Yeshiva College classes are generally more rigorous than they were when you first came?
More rigorous – 32.8%
About the same – 63.4%
Less rigorous – 3.8%


8. How would you rate your education at Yeshiva University?
Comparable to Ivy League – 5.8%
Comparable to top 50 university – 39.9%
Comparable to state school – 34.1%


9. Are you satisfied with your decision to attend YU?
Very satisfied – 41.7%
Somewhat satisfied – 41.7%
Not at all satisfied – 12.2%
Unsure – 4.3%

Noteworthy Stats:

29.0% of Yeshiva College students said that they thought their education was only comparable to that of a state school; 45.7% of Sy Syms students agreed. 

83.9% of first-year students are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied with their decision to attend YU; 90.0% of third and fourth year students were also satisfied.

141 students responded to the poll – 101 YC students and 36 Sy Syms students.